i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize