Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
