I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
