I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
