the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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