this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
