actually, I'm a sock model
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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