are you still at the devil's house?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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