im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
