weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
