I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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