Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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