I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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