i just wanna soil my oats bro
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Randomize
