You're so nebulous sometimes
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize