Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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