Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
