David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize