In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
