do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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