the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Non-Jews are for practice
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
