I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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