Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
