she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
