Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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