Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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