Dual....:-)
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize