The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
