Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
