the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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