That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
