i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
