Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
