we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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