Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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