Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
