...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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