Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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