Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
