Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Randomize
