ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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