K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
