I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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