You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
