I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
