We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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