I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
