To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
