...so i touched it.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Randomize
