Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
