cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I will pee on everything he values.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
