I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
