in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
