You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize