is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
as a side note pls kill me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize