hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
