scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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