So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
