Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
