anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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