But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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